Grieving Life Changes

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “grief”?  

Far too often, we think of grief in terms of dealing with the loss of a loved one or illness. But we can also grieve the end of something –  a relationship or a major life change –  or even having to come to terms with something being different than we expected, like graduating during the COVID-19 Pandemic.  

The pandemic has changed so much of our lives, and shifted the college experience in a major way.  

• Maybe you were in the middle of your first year in March 2020 and have yet to return to campus. 

• Perhaps you are graduating this spring and have to celebrate virtually.  

• Maybe you didn’t get to have the college roommate experience 

If you have had a tough time being able to celebrate your accomplishments, you are not alone. For years you have dreamed about what your college experience or graduation day would look like, and now it is completely different. 

It is ok to have complicated feelings about ending one chapter and beginning another.

While some students may have dealt with grief related to the virtual learning transition, including moving off campus, there may be students who are grieving the loss of a loved one or having to take care of an ill family member. The grieving process typically happens in five stages: 

1. Denial 

2. Anger 

3. Bargaining

4. Sadness

5. Acceptance

Unfortunately, grief is not a linear process and sometimes you go back and forth between stages. But don’t fret. While grieving is not an easy thing to deal with, over time the intensity will decrease. 

As you process major life changes during these unprecedented times, here are some tips to help with the transition:

• Two things can be true: You can be excited to graduate and be disappointed that you will not have the traditional graduation.

• Any milestone that you have been able to accomplish this year is a MAJOR feat.  Your resilience and tenacity are remarkable and should be celebrated.

• Find safe ways to reconnect with your support system so that you don’t feel alone.

• Practice self-care to help you cope with the tough days.

• Contact the UMBC counseling center to schedule an appointment and learn about the available resources to help process your grief.

Remember, grief is not reserved for loss. Major life transitions can result in a mix of emotions that may be hard to explain and that is normal. Grief can hit in waves, with you having good days reflecting on the good times followed by a series of bad days filled with confusion, sadness, and anger about what has transpired. During tough times, recognize that you are not alone, lean into your support system, and trust that it will get better.